Top 8

Ways to Respond to Comments About Your Ethnicity at Work

In March, the editors of Diversity.com revealed the "10 Things Never to Say to Latino Executives." Mind you, some of the things on that list were tame. For example, is it that bad to ask someone if they speak Spanish if their last name is Gomez or Ruvalcaba or Flores?, With these folks, you can just never win. In any case, here are the TOP 8 BEST RESPONSES to eight things Diversity.com thinks you should never, ever, ever-ever-ever say to a Latino executive.

Unless you want to get cut, that is.

1. "Can you show me your knife?"

"Simón, homie. But not now, ese. Let's hang back till the jefe blows out and then we'll cut up the assistant general manager at corporate internal affairs for the legal department. I always hated that pendejo."

2. "You're not white."

"It's a miracle!

Everyone, Bob's eyesight is cured! Praise Jesus, he can see!"

3. "Do you live with your parents?"

"Why? You need a place to crash? Oh, I get it, your wife kicked you out because she caught you watching those Internet sites again, didn't she?"

4. "You're not like them."

"Man, are you high? Why are you talking to me like we're in some freaky horror movie or something? Get back to work."

5. "Why don't all Latinos stop doing that?"

"I tried telling all 40 million Latinos in the U.S. to cut it out, but they won't listen to me."

6. "Hola, hablas ingles?"

"Wow, I'm impressed. You speak a little Spanish. Now let me teach you how to say 'I like working here' en español. Repeat after me: "Mi cerebro es bastante pequeño.'"

7. "When did you arrive in this country?"

"I was born here, Harry. And for the record, this is Aztlán, the sacred homeland of the Aztecs who were here long before the Europeans, and one day we'll reclaim this land on behalf of our ancest - oh, I'm sorry, I just had a Mecha flashback. You were saying..."

8. "Don't worry, you'll get the promotion. You're Latino/a."

"You know, one privilege Latinos do have in this company is we don't have to listen to you if we don't want to. Please move along and annoy someone else."